1Month Down.1Ovary Down
Hola!
Puerto Rico has been home now for about a month and I can honestly say it feels like home. It feels like the place I’m suppose to be and my heart is alive and happy. I feel comfortable and at ease.
This update is mostly about my health. I’d rather be updating you on the work I’ve been planning for months to accomplish here, but although I would love to be doing all that, I can’t do work if I’m not healthy. I’ve been encouraging myself that the work will be here when I’m healthy. On Feb. 28th I awoke in the early morning hours to some intense stomach pain. “Worst pain of your life” type situation. I tried to tough it out for a few hours but it was clear something was wrong. I needed to go to hospital. Thus began a 36 hour journey to find the cause. One doctor’s office, two ERs, and an ambulance ride later - the journey ended in emergency surgery to remove my right ovary.
The pain was from a condition called Ovarian Torsion. Which is a condition in which my right ovary was twisting (to all you women, it’s as painful as it sounds). In my case it turns out it twisted twice. Once in January (when I had a similar extreme pain) and again a couple of weeks ago. Going into surgery I knew they would remove my ovary as they thought the twisting had caused my ovary to swell with blood. Untwisting it would release said blood/blood clots into my body which could quite possibly kill me. However when they opened me up, my right ovary was at minimum 4 times the size it should be, and covered in two masses. They then went ahead and did a full exploratory look on the other ovary and tubes. Everything else, including my left ovary, was visually clear of other tumors.
Two weeks later I’m recovering well from surgery. I’m 95% pain free and I took my first stroll to the ocean today. However the ‘why and what the tumors are or could be’ is pressing. Conversations in all my post-op appointments this week were about the unknown. Could there be cancer in my body or could there be cells that are going to produce cancer in the future?… not exactly the conversations I hoped would be taking place and definitely not the welcome to Puerto Rico I had planned. The medical field can’t say it’s not cancer so they want to treat it like cancer. Cancer: that word could strike fear in the toughest of people. It strikes fear in me and honestly it makes me feel like I just typed a curse word. I hate cancer. Not the journey I want to be on. Not the journey I feel I’m going to be on.
I’m asking and needing some covering and encouragement. I’m physically tired from surgery and I’m emotionally tired from a 6 month season that held a lot of loss, including the death of my very dear grandma. I had blood work done today and I’m believing and praying it’s going to come back with some hopeful and encouraging results. I ask that you pray for that with me.
Right before this all happened I was asking the Lord what he was saying to me in this season. I journaled:
“Make it home.
Make it home in every way you can.
Trust that I’m gonna provide for you.
Move in the directions as if I already have.
Plan for the future.
The long future.
Rest.
Don’t strive to make this all work.
I will make it all work…
I know your every need…”
I’ve been frustrated and angry. I’ve been sad and scared. I’ve had all the emotions and then some. But I keep coming back to a pretty good solid place of peace and confidence. I don’t have to strive to make it all work out. One day at a time, no rush. Puerto Rico is my home now and I’m suppose to keep making it home. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to stop what I’m doing here when I just got started. I do not think any of this negative hard stuff is the plan for me. Yes, it is super annoying, frustrating, and distracting - but not the plan that God has in store. I will take care of myself but I’m not going to take my focus off my mission here.
As a note, this is not an email asking for cancer advice or anti-cancer advice or cancer stories. Believe me when I say I am actively seeking advice and searching out what is in my power to keep my body healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Please trust me with that and refrain from filling my inbox with more information than I can currently handle. I know some of you are going to have questions, please hold back. Right now is a time I am personally overwhelmed enough in the questions that I have myself, that I just can’t take on the questions of others. Please rest assured that answers will come in time, more than necessary tests are being done - my doctors are being extremely thorough and I feel so grateful for that, consultations are happening, second opinions, holistic avenues, and more are all in the works.
Here is what I am really needing from you all, my friends:
Prayers, support, & encouragement (texts, cards, letters, calls, flowers, emails, fb, voice memos, videos, IG dms, gifts - I’ll take ALL the love I can get!).
Prayer Targets:
Health Insurance: Since I just moved, I did not have health insurance. I have an emergency appointment tomorrow, 9am (Friday, March 13th) to see if I can get approved for state insurance. It would cover things going forward and retroactively cover my hospital visit and surgery. Please pray for favor! This is very needed. Pray that I am seen as a resident here and not just a visitor.
I do have emergency medical travel insurance but I’d have to move back to California for it to cover the emergency surgery.
Blood Panels:
Pray that my blood platelet count has gone up to a normal level. A normal platelet count ranges from 150,000 to 450,000 platelets per microliter of blood. Having less than 150,000 is known as thrombocytopenia. I was in the 60Ks in the hospital before I had two transfusions and in the 90ks when released from the hospital.
Pray that I have normal levels of protein in my blood.
Pray that there are no more bacterial infections in my body.
Pray that there are no signs of concern regarding cancer in any blood panel, or any doctor appointment - ever again.
And lastly….
Please continue to pray for me and the journey God has me on here. Please pray for continued strength for me during these days of filling out paperwork, getting blood tests done, long doctors appointments, and so on - that my days wouldn’t be filled with discouragement or frustration, but rather with encouragement, with love, and with hope. Please pray for fear to stay far far away from me, and for complete peace for me and for my family over this bump in the road.
Thanks so much,
Natalie
Our first team this year came from Massachusetts. Hard working, fun and joyous. We worked on three homes and took supplies to those affected by the earthquakes in the south of the Island.
